slow down and savor life

 

                                 Slow down and savor your food and life



My kids favorite buddies "hanging out"
This is what we should all be doing more often "hanging out" together with our family

 As I am on a journey of weight loss and good health.  One tip I have learned is to Slow down and enjoy life. We live in such a hurried world, running all about in a microwave "grab and go" society.  My father as a boy scout leader made an interesting observation.  The boys had gone out for a campout.  They had each brought a tin foil dinner to cook in the fire.  My father noticed that some of the boys were very impatient while waiting for the dinners to cook. He related to me that he sensed that these boys were the ones that lived in a home where the microwave was a main source of food.  He said it was about two minutes and they were ready to eat. This was about 10 -12 years ago.  I wonder what he would find nowdays. Do we ourselves exist where the microwave provides a majority of our food at home?  Is takeout food our best freind?  I am slowing down and cooking not only on weekends, but all the time. My body has been happier these last few weeks as I have made a move to pay attention to it. When we slow down our eating the body has time to respond to the food we are putting in. We are healthier today because I chose to slow down and pay attention. I want my family and I to be healthy in body and mind. I am creating my world according to those things. Family time together at meals is something that I am begining to value. It is becoming a great part of life.

I grew up in a family that was on the go alot, my husband was different.  Both of our families value time together, but how we do that is different. We were always going and doing and on the move.  There were always games to play and places to see. My husbands family spends alot of time just sitting and chatting. My husband values time together just sitting a while and watching the sunset etc. He is content to just sit a while. While I am sitting there I have a whole list of things going on in my brain. I think that as a woman I have to multitask. I get so distracted, Sometimes I forget to stop and take stock of what is really important. My husband is very important and he needs me to slow down and pay attention to him. My Children need me there with them. I am making them priority in my life. I am showing them by the things that I do. As Dr Phil says "You gotta get plugged into your family" My challenge to you SLOW DOWN, MAKE TIME FOR THE IMPORTANT THINGS.

BE YOUR OWN KIND OF SUPERMOM

Are you trying to keep up with that  "SUPERMOM"?  You know the one I am talking about. The woman who seems to have it all together.


At the start of the new school year, I see all the parents and kids off to school. I see the mother's on the PTA. Little girls in perfect dress. All over the internet I see the cute ideas for making the first day of school perfect. Parents going to extra lengths to make the day so special. We got up and had a regular breakfast. We got dressed and walked to school. It was mostly an ordinary day. Am I a bad parent because I do not do all these extra things?

Maybe I should have made a special breakfast? Maybe he needed a new backpack? Is he wearing the right clothes? Does he fit in with all the other children? I was taken away in thought, back to a time when I was working as a young adult. One of my coworkers was so disguisted with her son. She had been working many overtime hours to buy him the Jeans that were "the in thing".  She bought them for him, and of course he would not wear them. He did not care about it, but she did. All these things go through my mind and then... I am reminded of a talk by Dieter F Uchdorf about the forget me nots,expecially the part about wise sacrifices vs foolish sacrifices.  "Am I commiting my time and energies to the things that matter most?" 

Here is a link to that talk.

Dieter F Uchtdorf forget me not talk


As a society we put such demands on ourselves to keep up with others. I was reminded of a time just after my youngest was born. She was born early Sunday morning. By friday; I was ready to be out of the house just for a while. It was the neighborhood Halloween party that evening. They were having a chili cook-off dinner, and a carnival for the kids. It seemed like just the thing. My Husband and I  managed to pull together a pot of chili. We happened to win 2nd place. One of the ladies said "Oh now you have done it, you have really raised the bar for all the mothers in this neighborhood!" "what do you mean?", I asked. "Now everyone will think that they have to win a cookoff just after they have a new baby!"  I did not feel like a "supermom" at that time. I was just doing what I needed to survive, yet everyone was looking at me like I was superwoman.

We find this with bloggers. We see all the great things bloggers are doing. We revere some ot them as superwomen. We think that we have to be the same as them. We over run ourselves with all those things we could be doing, and we forget the little things. Tara at simply made home wrote a great post this week about when the realities of life and the blogging world collide. link to simply made home blog.  In this post she paints a real picture of her real weekend. I am grateful for bloggers who get real about life. I can laugh and cry with them also.

I am finding that in writing this blog, sometimes I forget the purpose of it which is; to help others slow down and live life. TO LOVE MY FAMILY WELL IS THE HEART OF WHO I AM!  It is the purpose of this blog to help others to love their families. WHEN YOU LOVE YOUR FAMILY WELL, YOU WILL BE YOUR OWN SUPERMOM. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO IT LIKE ANYONE ELSE DOES.

so now...... Go and create your own kind of wonderful life.

why I wash dishes by hand

 Doing dishes is so much more than a chore. For me it is a time to get to know my children, or in yesterday's case; my husband. There is something almost "magical" that happens when you are working together with someone. Kids, especially teens; start to open up and share what they are feeling. This is part of the reason why I choose to wash dishes by hand.



I do not wash all of the dishes by hand. I usually put the cups, plates, and silverware in the dishwasher. I love that it sanitizes them. The pots, pans, bowls, knives, stirring spoons, spatulas etc. I hand wash. I hate that these big items take up so much room, and I hate using so much energy and water, not to mention the cost of soap to run the dishwasher.
This system works for us, I started letting my little boy help me when he was just over a year and a half. He would stand on a chair and watch. It began as a way to keep tabs on him. If he was helping me, I knew he was not sitting on top of his new baby sister. He got to where he could help more and more. Now he is nearly seven and he can do most of it by himself. Yes, it takes extra time to wash the dishes rather than throw them all in the dishwasher and hit run. The time involved is an investment in us. It is teaching the kids the value of work. It is teaching them the value of family. It is teaching them to be independent. The list could go on and on. For us we will continue in the tradition because I know how important it is to our family.


 Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.



I have written several other posts about loving and teaching the children. Some of my favorite are linked below. Thanks for coming by, and come back soon.


5 love languages love them in a way they understand

blessing other lives with the kids in tow

unplug

when values are challenged

what is simple living

Showing your love in a way they understand.

The Present Parent loves their children in a way they understand

                                  THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES a book by Gary Chapman


This is a book I highly recommend for everyone. I read it before I got married to my husband. Seven years later we are happily married. His oldest daughter just got married and we bought her a copy. I hope she will read it and take it to heart.

 It begins with a chapter entitled "What happens to love after the marriage?"  The second chapter is about our "love tank" and how to keep it full.  Then it goes into detail about the different love languages.

Each person feels love in a different way. Learning to love our family in a way they understand is key to family happiness. 


The five love languages are.......


Words of affirmation


Quality time


Recieving gifts


Acts of service


Physical touch


Where do you fall? What about those around you?  Are those you love feeling it?

My husband's love language is quality time and physical touch. I show love with acts of service. Sometimes we run into trouble when I am so busy  running about doing things for him. I forget to do things with him. He and the children like to help with the housekeeping. I can get a little upset with them. I feel like keeping up the house is something I want to do for them. I enjoy being alone with myself, thinking and doing for them.  Doing it with me is what they are really craving. I have to remember that they need time with me to feel love.

Like Father, like son. Our boy is just like his dad. Both crave quality time and physical touch. Sometimes it is hard to fit in time for each of them. We can run into some jelousy issues when one is feeling like I am spending more time and attention on the other. I am learning how to make it work for us. I am learning to balance it all. I am trying to remember to touch those two men in my life daily. A hand on the shoulder of my son, a tousel of his hair, can speak volumes to him. Slowing down and holding hands with my husband really makes him tick. In the evenings; I would much rather tell him I love him by making sure the house is clean and orderly.  He would rather I stop and sit a while with him. I choose to love him. I stop and sit with him a while. I don't worry so much about the other things. 

One point that was brought up in the book that caught my attention. He said that the children who grow up on an empty love tank. Have alot more troubles. They are likely to "act out". They are more likely to try and find love somewhere else. Had my parents not spoke the love language "acts of service". I would have been one of those kids. My parents spoke all the languages to some extent. I am grateful for that. I am working on being more well rounded. I am learning to pay attention to those whom I love and  and learning to speak  their language. I am learning a new language "words of affirmation"

Our  two girls are very sensitive to the words we say. They need to be told daily that they are loved. They need to know they are special. The younger of the two girls speaks the other languages pretty well. She is well rounded. Her older sister's main love language is Words of affirmation. I have to work hard to make sure that she is feeling loved. This is the language I speak the least. Learning to speak softly, gently, and in a positive tone of voice, has really made a difference. Making sure she knows that I notice the good things she does and telling her is soooo important for her. She needs alot of praise. I have to make it a real point to say something good to her everyday. "You did a great job at ____!"  "I appreciate that you listened the first time I asked you to  ___."   and so on the list goes. It seems like an overwhelming amount of praise to me, but I know it is important for her.

I have recently come the conclusion that this is my Mother's love language. She would shower me with words of affermation. She was telling me I love you. I heard "Blah Blah Blah". I would roll my eyes at her. "Oh mom, enough already."  I had one boyfreind that was great at showering me with all the praises in the world and I just thought he was "full of hot air" I totally did not get that these people were saying "I love you" My daughter gets this.This is why she loves Grandma so much. Grandma speaks her love languge.

I have seen the positive outcome of my efforts to LOVE MY FAMILY WELL. There is still much to learn. There are many skills to develop.We are making Giant strides in the right direction. Our family is alot better for our efforts. Our home is alot nicer. There is less tension. Our home is becoming a "soft place to fall" when the world gets to us. It is worth my efforts to make sure that those I love are not running on empty and  to love them in a way they understand.



Is someone you love running on an empty love tank? Are you running on empty yourself? Do you need to learn a new "love language?" 

How are you loving you family well?  leave a comment below






shared atteaching what is good

Unplug!

BECOMING A PRESENT PARENT

When the internet started becoming popular about 15 years ago, I had a converstation with a very wise woman. She was a mother with several children in the home. All her friends were going crazy over the internet. "come on and join us on the internet" they would say. "Look at all the things it can do, isn't it amazing!"  This mother replied; "Can it cook, and clean my home? Can it care for my children? Can it fix thier hurts? Can it tuck them into bed at night? If it can't do those things I don't need it!" Fast forward several years. Her kids are doing well. They are all happy and well adjusted in life. They are all going forward and contributing to society. She knew that there is nothing that can take the place of a present parent.

The computer and the internet has taken a toll on my family. In the past I have really tried to limit what I do and how much time I spend on the computer. The last 2 months as I have started a blog, and helped my dear sweetheart look for a job. It has been hours on the computer daily. My dear son begged me the other day to unplug "Can you please spend time with me and not be on the computer helping Dad?" I have slowed down. My dear husband has started work again. I have gotten the blog up to speed and now we can be in maintainance mode. Our children are small so it is mostly Mom that needs to uplug.

 I am ready to take my life back again! I am ready to be a present parent.

Join me. Become a present parent. Unplug and join in the family be it for an hour, an evening, a full day, or the weekend. 

Go on a media fast. See what can happen to a family unpluged.


shared at momma moments mondays
shared at homestead barn hop
shared at make a move monday
and at loving our children tuesday
also at teach me tuesdays